Another Perspective of Deception and Spiritual Abuse at New City Presbyterian Church
Note: The following is from Derek McDaniel, who was a member of my former church, New City Presbyterian Church in Hilliard, OH. Derek has provided his perspective of the events that led to the closure of our church.
If you haven’t read my chronicle of the deceptive actions of our former pastor, James Kessler, you can find it here.
I started to attend New City Hilliard when it first launched. My family and I were there from the second service onward and played a pretty active role in the church. These are my experiences with James and New City Hilliard.
I was not a believer at the time. I had a lot of rough experiences with the church in general and had a lot of negative experiences with previous churches I had been in. I wrote a letter back in 2015 detailing some of the issues I had experienced in my life and experiences I have had in the past that just led me to not be a believer. I emailed this to my pastor (James) at the time in 2015. There were 3 total pastors at the church, Aaron White, James Kessler and Mike Sloan. We started going to a group with Mike Sloan and he kind of became our “Default” go to. He received the letter and we spoke a little on it, but nothing much came from it.
We joined the church later that year. For the first few years, I honestly didn’t really interact with James much. Mike was our go to guy and we got along so well, that a relationship between myself and James never really became much of a thing. Mike was the leader of our Community Group and after he left the church, our community group kind of just got pushed to the wayside. We didn’t really have a leader until Heath came along. Health stepped in to lead our group for awhile and I got to know him a bit as well.
When Mike Sloan left the church, James and I began speaking much more. I felt like we had grown REALLY close. I shared a LOT of intimate details about my life with James. I shared my faith struggles, I shared my marital struggles, I shared my fatherhood struggles. I was always real with James and I felt like he was real with me.
Initially, everything was great. James and I talked frequently, we would have beers together on occasion and discuss theology, we shared coffee in the mornings to discuss the Bible on occasion.
Starting during the pandemic, I started to see a shift in James’ attitude. He would constantly be harder to reach, would respond weeks after I emailed him, sometimes not at all. I never got a response from him on the original letter I sent, even after multiple follow ups. No worries, I understand things get busy so I shook it off. Fast forward to around the beginning of 2022, things get a little weird.
There is a divorce in the church and it hurts. One of our elders steps down as this personally affected him and this is where my relationship with James starts to take a turn. He starts to get progressively more distant with some of the members of the church, primarily our community group.
February 26, 2022, we get this email from James:
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Dear New City members,
I wanted to report on one item of business from our Session meeting this last Thursday evening.
At the meeting we approved the following: “Move to authorize loan from Diaconate funds if needed for emergent cash flow needs.”
As a small church we have sought to maximize our generosity to our city and globally, while maintaining a reasonable, though small, general fund. One of our budgeting priorities for the 2022 financial plan was to build this general fund to increase cash flow. Unfortunately we have run into an unusual financial crunch this month — offerings are about 50% of normal giving. This has not been any kind of gradual pattern (last month’s giving was normal), but a one-month decrease. For perspective, it has been two years since we had a month with giving this low.
Our expectation and hope is that this is not any kind of pattern but a one-time coincidence. We do not anticipate having to freeze any of our typical ministry spending and missionary contributions, but we are being cautious. We wanted to make sure that essential bills like rent, utilities, salaries remain paid in the event that things do not change soon, which is why we felt we needed to authorize a loan from our diaconal fund, and why we wanted to let you know about it. Certainly if you have by oversight missed a planned financial gift, now’s as great a time as any!
Now, we have learned by now (nearly seven years into things!) that These are the normal “opportunities” that churches face as we pursue the kingdom of God for our city. And I’m so grateful to be in this particular kingdom moment with you all!
JK
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Okay, no big deal. This happens right? All churches seem to struggle through the pandemic. Little did we know, the reason for our struggles were the complete and total mismanagement of funds from our pastor. Initially, we had no idea what was going on, We thought tithing was down (it wasn’t). We thought maybe it was due to poor attendance, but that wasn’t it either.
Here is a financial update we got on April 5th 2022:
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FINANCIAL UPDATE
We are thankful for the way the Lord has provided for New City these past six years! We’ve seen tremendous growth over that time, and in particular, the congregation has been financially generous toward our mission together. The last four years our giving has never grown less than 25% over the previous year’s giving. That’s incredible. This year, as you know, we set out with a modest 10% increase over last year’s budget. So far in 2022 we’ve been challenged with a very unique giving pattern we haven’t seen before. January giving was strong, but February and March giving met only 70% of our budgeted amount. As we mentioned in February, we would keep a close eye on how things are proceeding. The quick data is that number of gifts is down about 15% but total giving is down a good bit more. We expect this to change as New City has an excellent giving history, and people are just beginning to return to church; still, this downturn has devoured our modest savings. Please be in prayer for God to continue to provide in the coming months as we move out of a survival posture and the church comes alive with visitors and opportunities to welcome new people.
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Again, this is all pulled completely out of context. We later found out about multiple credit cards that were taken out in New City’s name without any knowledge to our Elders or to our Administrative team. We didn’t find out about any of this until right before the church shut down in 2023 (A whole nother fiery topic).
July 27th, 2022 is when I think I may have driven a wedge between myself and James. I take responsibility for that because I had some hard questions about Homosexuality in the church, and the fact that he wouldn’t let a homosexual join the church because it is a sin. I can provide those emails if asked, but basically the gist was that if it an “unrepentant sin” he wouldn’t allow them to join.
We all sin, and none of us are without sin, a lot of which is unrepentant. Does that disqualify us from being members of the church? I think not, but to my dismay, it did for James. At this point is when I started seriously leaving the PCA church. Little did I know of the log in the eye of James at this time.
August 1st we get a letter from our Elder Walt about financial hardships, again, nothing was brought to light about the secret credit cards with high interest rates we had been paying on. James was NEVER forthcoming with this information and we had no idea about it until a few months BEFORE the church shut down. Another financial update on October 3rd, basically stating the same. We are still behind but September was a better month.
I’ve tried to meet with James to talk several times in 2022 about the issues I’ve had with the PCA and homosexuality. Nothing was resolved. Then another issue came up. We had lost both of our original elders at this point and we only had Walt. James had been training someone without any real knowledge to us. Sean. This would become a blessing in disguise because he would help uncover the issues James had created within our church. I had a disagreement with James on the way Sean was selected and with all the issues of my personal beliefs versus the PCA beliefs.
I decided December 19th to revoke my membership from the PCA with a written email to James. Note: I had tried to talk with James about this in person multiple times, but he either never showed (multiple occasions) or text me 30 minutes after we were supposed to meet that he was running late and forgot.
December 19th was the first of my emails to revoke my membership.
In 2022, I had multiple discussions with James that I was not of the faith. Every meeting I had with him, I shared that I do not think I should take communion, however James suggested very strongly that I should continue to take communion, that this was only temporary struggle I was going through.
Against my better judgment, I continued to partake in communion until around October or so.
March 7th 2023, I emailed James yet again to revoke my membership from the church. This time, I was finally released from my membership. Here is my response to James (This was initially in regards to Sean being “nominated (appointed)” by james.
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Hi James,
Figured this may be a bit easier since we keep missing each other. I told you I’d give you reasons to my previous email and where I’m currently at mentally and why I pulled my membership.
I should first clarify what I mean when I originally said “I don’t feel like this is our church”. My meaning behind that wasn’t me and Mallory directly, but the members as a whole. I feel like a lot of decisions being made lately, especially after Heath left for Florida and the Patrick’s left, have been very 1 sided.
Elder training being one example. When you personally select a candidate to go through training, and without that person being nominated, it’s unlikely that the church body will push back on that. I understand the urgency of getting more elders and training them but these processes are supposed to be slow for a reason and this just feels super rushed and pushed.
Pulling my membership is a lot more complex but it boils down to how the PCA deals with same sex attraction and couples. This is something I’ve researched for many years and our most recent conversation about not permitting same sex relationship couples into membership of the church is what really did it for me and ultimately sealed my fate as a PCA member.
I cannot be a member of any denomination that excludes a particular group of people from being a member based on gender identity and/or sexuality.
Thanks,
Derek
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Here was James’ response (Note: He copied the elder I had the issues of being nominated with, imo, to drive a wedge between us).
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Dear Derek,
Thank you for your email. I will be sure to communicate this to the Session and release you from your membership vows, and on to the Lord’s will for your life.
In Christ,
Your Pastor and Elders
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It took 4 months and multiple emails to have him release me from membership at the PCA.
Now, there are some things that I probably shouldn’t talk about, but I think they need to be said, because I believe it speaks more to James as a person than as a pastor. James is an amazing speaker. He has a gift with words. His sermons are always amazing, and I love listening to them. But he was never truthful with us, or with his elders.
Remember the divorcee I talked about earlier? Well, she had confessed some private feelings for James via an email or text, we are unsure of which. During this time, he was privately meeting with her, even against the direct counsel of our Elders who asked that they be there, because this was said to him.
Eventually Laura finds out about this and calls James out on it, which leads to his “Confession”. He made a very vague confession at a members only meeting in the church, where MULTIPLE MEMBERS stood up during the confession and actively said “We don’t even understand what you’re confessing to”. He never mentioned what he had done, just that he had “sinned against his family”. Fine, no big deal. Everyone makes mistakes and we are grateful he admitted to the mistakes
At this time, at the recommendation of our elders, we installed a member of the church to review the financial records line by line over the last 8 years of the church. What we found was an absolute abuse of church funds. We found a secret credit card used to pay for his passage to the General Assembly, which we could not as a church afford to send him to. He elected to take Laura with him on those trips which the credit card paid for with an exorbitant high interest rate.
We also found out that the Kesslers were using funds to pay medical bills. Their thought was that it was a part of the contract laid out by the Columbus Metro Presbytery but upon reviewing the records, we were unable to find any information about it. At this point (if you’re keeping track) we’ve been lied to 3 major times. This was the last straw for the elders and they asked James to resign as he couldn’t be trusted in leadership of the church.
James refused and it was a very unwelcoming time at New City. James Kessler resigned his position finally, after both elders resigned, on June 17th 2023, after discussion with the CMP. They suggested that we “dissolve the church” and he move on. After James resigned, the CMP held a meeting on June 21st to dissolve the church in a closed door meeting, of which we have been unable to get any minutes on at all. Our previous pastor (James Kessler who had resigned as of the 18th) was permitted in this meeting, even though he was no longer the pastor of the church.
We had a group of people show up to the meeting where the CMP refused to listen to anyone except James, who walked into a closed door session and then our fate of the church was decided. No hearing, no notice, just completely shut down.
Here is the email we received from James regarding the church shut down, remember, he is no longer pastor at this time, but still has complete control over everything New City. Finances, logins, emails, everything.
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Dear New City Congregants,
We wanted to write in order to provide some clarity about the status of our church. We are sure many of you have been hearing second-hand about these events and we had to wait until certain governing processes involving our Presbytery (our church’s governing body) finished their work before announcing any changes. Our intent in this note isn’t to editorialize; certainly many people in our church have differing opinions for the reasons behind these events, but for the moment we just want to give a status update.
During a called Session and Commission meeting 6/1, both RE Walt Ferris and RE Sean Dockery expressed their desire to dissolve the pastoral relationship between New City and Pastor James Kessler. This was not Pastor Kessler’s desire, nor was it the recommendation of the three-member Presbytery commission working with our Session since September 2022.
Rather than making a motion to the congregation to dissolve the pastoral relationship, both RE Walt Ferris and RE Sean Dockery resigned within one week of the meeting.
When there are no Ruling Elders present in a Presbyterian Church, the Presbytery takes “original jurisdiction” over the church. Essentially, they become the Session for the Church because a Presbyterian Church cannot exist without Ruling Elders. This changes the status of the church from “particular” to “mission.”
The Presbytery Commission working with our church had already encouraged a member’s meeting to discuss any outstanding conflicts, leadership issues, and the church’s financial position. The meeting was set for June 14th.
In the time leading up to the member’s meeting there were various discussions led by the resigned ruling elders and members of the church describing their reasons for resigning and their concerns about the church and Pastor Kessler particularly. Those concerns were circulated broadly in advance of the meeting.
The member’s meeting took place on June 14th and lasted approximately four hours; during which the resigned elders’ concerns were directly put to Pastor Kessler and the Presbytery Commission by members of the church, and responses were given.
Following this meeting, it was Pastor Kessler’s determination that division in the church was such that it would not be possible or advisable for him to continue as Pastor of the church. He gave notice of his resignation on June 17th, and preached his final sermon at New City on June 18th.
The resignations of the Ruling elders triggered a required presbytery meeting on Wednesday June 21st in order to consider the future of New City and determine if the Presbytery would keep the church in-tact and become its governing body (Session), or dissolve the church. It would also have to determine whether Pastor Kessler would be called as its pastor while it trained new Ruling Elders.
In the June 21st meeting, the Presbytery received Pastor Kessler’s resignation, reviewed the Presbytery Commission’s report concerning his actions as Pastor, the actions of Elders and leaders in the church, and assessed the viability of the church moving forward. The commission’s report covered the nine months in which they worked closely with New City’s Session and observed their working relationship while guiding the adoption of stronger financial practices and more effective conflict resolution.
It was the Presbytery’s determination that the existence of schism (deep division) in the church, along with its difficult financial position, indicated a need to dissolve the church. The discussion of these factors and the decision to dissolve was considered for several hours, but there was little debate about the final action. The Presbytery entered into prayer for the church and for Pastor Kessler and the Kessler family in particular.
The actions of the presbytery (receiving Pastor Kessler’s resignation and dissolving the church) created some last details to be completed over the coming weeks: the settling of all outstanding financial obligations for the church, a severance package for Pastor Kessler, Geoff Nelson, and Mallory McDaniel, a commission to dispose of any property of the church, to convene a final meeting, and to assist congregants in finding a suitable church home. The final congregational meeting this coming Wednesday (6/28) will be convened only for the purpose of affirming Pastor Kessler’s resignation. This is a requirement of our church government. That member’s meeting will take place in the chapel.
The Presbytery has also offered to fund a final gathering of celebration where the church can give thanks for all the Lord has accomplished in the 8 years of our church’s existence, if the congregation desires to do so.
This Sunday Pastor Steve Resch, who was the moderator of the commission that worked with our Session, will lead a service of lament at our usual worship hour.
One note: if you have loaned property to the church and did not intend to donate it, please notify our treasurer at the contact below to ensure the return of your items.
Certainly you will have questions. Here are some points of contact:
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I left off the points of contacts for good reason, as I don’t want to give out any more information than I have to. James very conveniently left out a LOT of details about what actually happened in the church, the whole time spinning a web of lies through out his own community group and another one he is very close with. These two community groups were mostly people who helped plan the church, but were not the community groups led by the other two elders. This led to an extreme fracture in the church, with a lot of people believing James and throwing a lot of negativity and anger our way.
What we wanted was clarity. What we wanted was accountability. Hopefully with this telling, it will help to bring some of that.
Here is an email with some clarity from a member of the church at the time: Timothy:
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Hi friends,
First off, I wanted to make a quick clarification. This email is not being sent out to the whole church email list. If you are receiving this email, it is because you are among a group of people within our church body that have expressed concerns and have wanted to emphasize truth-telling and transparency regarding these matters. If you no longer want to be a part of this email, please feel free to let me know and I’ll take you off the list moving forward.
Likely, you have all heard of the presbytery’s decision regarding New City at their meeting on 6/21. You may have also received email communication from James Kessler today titled “Update on the status of New City Presbyterian Church.” Although I would have been glad to let that communication go through without a response, there are important facts that have been left out.
First, the email communication claims that our former ruling elders expressed their desire to dissolve the pastoral relationship between New City and James. It is important to both clarify and elucidate the fact that our former ruling elders had asked James to resign from his position as pastor of New City due to, paraphrasing one of their resignation letters: failures of shepherding, financial mismanagement, and a lack of transparency. Within the session meeting minutes themselves that I have shared previously, it is noted that James’ lack of collaboration with the session is another main reason.
Second, James’ email claims that the congregational meeting on June 14th consisted of the resigned elders’ concerns. As you are all likely aware, the questions asked during this congregational meeting were beyond the concerns raised by our former ruling elders. To frame the congregational meeting as a form of our former ruling elders getting their last word is, quite frankly, deceptive.
Third, James’ email states that the presbytery focused on schism and finances as the reason for dissolving our church. We must note that there is a distinction between conflict itself and the source of conflict. The specific source of conflict/division has always been and continues to be whether James had broken trust with the congregation through lack of transparency, financial mismanagement, and failures of shepherding.
I write these things because of the fact that we can see examples of gaslighting, blame shifting, and withholding of crucial information. Although the email claims to not be “editorializing,” it is in fact doing just that.
As some of you know, harmful communications over email and text have been sent to various people in our church claiming that there had been a “witch hunt” against James. As you will all likely agree, there has never been a “witch hunt,” but a desire for the truth and to keep our leaders accountable, as is our calling from the Lord. Email communications like what we received today are, unfortunately, making matters worse by withholding information that gives people a clearer picture of what’s been happening at our church.
Finally, a couple words of encouragement: if you’ve received hurtful communications, Jesus sees you. He’s angry alongside you and weeps with you. If you feel as though you have had the narrative of the truth get twisted and felt guilt put back onto you, know that God is truth and He is the one who decides who is free of guilt. If you feel powerless in this situation, know that in your weakness is the strength of the Lord. If you feel like darkness and deception are winning, know that God is light.
“Be angry but do not sin” is a tough calling, but in this situation, it is exactly what we need to do. God sees everything going on, beloved. I’m praying for all of you in your healing and hope in the gospel through this time.
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During that same time, some women in the church got this email from Laura:
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Dear friend in Christ,
I come to you sad, but also hopeful in Jesus. We serve a God who loves to bring beauty out of darkness, and I have no doubt that He won’t stop redeeming all of us who belong to him. I have waited to share my thoughts with you friends, as I don’t want any of my words to be misinterpreted as serving my own purpose of hoping to stay in New City. James has resigned tonight and my heart is at peace.
Outside of my brother’s death this had been the most devastating thing I have ever gone through. But God has held me up in the hardest of moments and He labored to keep my heart soft. Now, full disclosure…I have totally messed up at times and resorted to ungodly anger, but He has gently brought me back under His wing and whispered words of love and help, and care for others who are suffering. I understand that you may interpret this email as a last word/jab, and that’s okay. However, I believe in my heart (albeit, a sinful heart that leads me astray at times…goodness I pray this isn’t one of those!) that I want to share this so we can all grow in Jesus’ love for us and each other. Please don’t feel that you have to read it right now (as it is painstakingly long), or if you feel that it is not a good time. I love you anyways.
I wanted to part with a testament of what beauty He has done in my life this past year. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions for sure, but for it I can honestly say that I am thankful. He has shown me so much of my sin, and in love has embraced me through all the good, bad, and ugly. I’ve also given thanks to Jesus for the work I see in James of repentance and growth over the past year, but please know that this email isn’t to try and convince you anything about my husband’s path.
Back to me–last summer after I felt betrayed by my husband and close friend, God graciously directed me to immerse myself in the scriptures as well as Christian literature regarding forgiveness, boundaries, etc. In one of the books I read it warned its readers to not think of yourself as being unable to be as destructive as the person whose actions hurt you. The book went on to say, “This is a dangerous position to take. We are all capable of just about anything, due to our own sinful natures (Romans 3:10–18). We need to be careful of this: ‘So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12). Any time we focus on our goodness, we turn our ears away from our need for love and forgiveness.”
Wow! That felt like a dagger of conviction in my chest. That began the journey that God had me on to explore my heart. He then began to show me that He calls us only to hate the sin, and not the sinner. He reminded me of the beatitudes, and then began to teach me about not just vertical meekness (meekness before God in prayer and obedience), but that the fruit of truly understanding His meekness is also how we approach and view others when they sin as well. He taught me about having a heart of peace and not war (Steve’s statement the other night), and He miraculously showed me that it was possible for my heart to remain soft when I felt that it had been broken into a billion pieces–because He was holding onto all those pieces for me. He whispered scripture into my ears while sobbing, and reminded me of all the ways He has sustained me in the midst of the valley. I am so grateful for His steadfast goodness in the midst of the hard, and the hope He has given me in all circumstances.
I share this with you, my friends, because I honestly do care about you, and I know many of you care for me, even through this hard time. I walked with many of you through hurt and pain, as you have done with me. It is because of this bond in Jesus, that I humbly ask you…is it possible that the same type of bondage that was entrapping me is happening in our church as well? I don’t presume to know everybody’s hearts, but I know that in the last few weeks I have been saddened by some of what I have seen.
Tim Kellar stated in one of his books that convicted me most, Prodigal God, “that the elder brother (in the prodigal son passage) believes that “The good people (like us) are in and the bad people, who are the real problem with the world, are out….But Jesus says: The humble are in and the proud are out (see Luke 18:14).”
I’m sure probably most of you all heard I was preaching Matthew 18 pretty fiercely in the beginning of all this strife. A few weeks later I saw an article being circulated around church members. When I first read the article I was worried that I was leading people astray by telling them we should have been practicing Mathew 18 with this particular church situation. I wanted to rectify things if I was indeed leading others astray. So I sought some theological advice outside of my home. If you have differing opinions that mine expressed below, please share with me, as I want to understand it correctly. But this is what I learned…
Matthew 18:
““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
The premise of this article being circulated is that the Mathew 18 passage gets abused within the Christian church because in Mathew 18 Jesus is just talking about personal offenses, and many churches use it in other contexts outside of personal offenses/sins that are person-to-person. In other words, general sins against the church don’t require you to abide by Mathew 18, because the sin isn’t particularly against you.
But as I understand it from talking with others who have studied this passage in depth, the Greek/grammar is in no way conclusive in Matthew 18 that Jesus is only talking about personal sin with one other person. In fact, it’s the reason why the New American Standard and NIV render the same verse, “if your brother sins,” without the “against you.”
So, if there is variation in the different versions, then we are always taught to interpret scripture with scripture, such as:
Galatians 6: “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1 ESV) In this passage, it does not state…if anyone is caught in any transgression against you. It just states that one person’s transgression (of any kind) ought to be dealt with directly by those who are “spiritual” in gentleness.
This same article that was circulated also states that if sin is a public matter then there is no need to abide by the Matthew 18 principle. But in cases such as New City’s over the past few weeks, the sin wasn’t public. If the sin had been public and known by all, then gathering groups to inform them about the particular sin would be unnecessary.
So, why meet with the accused as in Matthew 18?
Proverbs 18 is famous for its instruction about how we listen to reports about others. Verse seventeen says that, “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” (Proverbs 18:17). Therefore, in the absence of the accused present, there is prejudice, discouragement, anger, and grief that can only build and fester because they do not hear the “other case”. Often when at a later date, truth seeking is finally expressed in an appropriate forum (such as congregational meeting in our case), it can look more like vengeance than seeking truth in love. In the Matthew 18 passage, Jesus and Paul are concerned less about providing a loophole to avoid going to your brother or sister in love, and more about preserving the potential opportunity — both for the offender and the one offended — that comes from direct, personal, peacemaking.
Many of my forever friends at New City heard reports without James present in the room who did not then go to James to hear “his case”. Over the past two weeks sadly I have witnessed a willingness to spread and receive bad reports without verifying their truth; to repeat and circulate half-truths, without confronting the one accused. Some of them were pretty outlandish! Please know that God’s grace covers that. Also, friends at New City who were upset with James never went to him directly to “tell him his fault”. That makes me so sad because so much redemptive work happens when the scriptural mandate for conflict resolution is followed. First, the person going to the accuser gets to hear the other case and examine IF (only IF, as this isn’t always the case) they have sinned by prejudging/listening to gossip/etc. And the accused person gets to examine the sin in their heart to see what they need to confess to the injured and to the Lord.
This is the beauty of the gospel — it is in confessing our actual sins (not just that you are a sinner), and repenting, that we truly see our need for Jesus, and then understand His love for us more. If we short circuit this process by not going to the brother who sinned against you and showing him his fault, then we are not using the very tools that God uses to refine us. That is what the church body is made to do! Tim Kellar states that, “the prerequisite for receiving the grace of God is knowing that you need it.” This is one of the ways that God helps remind His children that they need His grace!
You may say…okay Laura, but what about….
What do you do when the accused is in a position of power? This is the heart of why we have a process outlined by our Book of Church Order for how to bring serious accusations to light, particularly against pastors. That process clarifies that the pathway to dealing with that sin is not to discuss it with those who are unaware, but rather to take it directly to the court of God-given authority. For a pastor, this is a member of his presbytery (BCO 34–1, 34–3) in order that they might address it personally. If the presbytery then fails to respond appropriately, you file a complaint against the presbytery. If the presbytery fails to deal with the error, you can appeal to the Standing Judicial Commission of the denomination. This is all to prevent cover up.
However, the caveat that must be stated is that if someone is guilty of a crime, you go directly to the authorities. The scriptures state that you are to follow the legal authorities, unless the authorities cause you to sin. Therefore, if somebody has committed a crime whether they are in authority or not, then you have the responsibility to notify authorities. For example, if an elder has sexual relations with a minor then instead of practicing the Matthew 18 principle, your notify the authorities directly.
You may be thinking…but Laura, what about abusers?
Certainly a proven abuser should not be allowed to confront their accuser without strict protections in place for the victim. However, sadly, it is increasingly common to exempt situations of alleged abuse from all personal confrontation requirements. That is, if a person alleges that the offender is abusive then it is felt that there is no need to personally confront.
The Scriptures tell us that at times the ones who abuse and oppress the sheep are religious authorities and moral people who “Lord” themselves over the sheep. Though even in the case of those in power who use their power to oppress, the principle of personal confrontation applies, it just may be that the one who confronts is not the one offended, but a friend who is strong enough to confront the strong. Abuse ought to require proof in order to break the ability for the offended to pursue peace personally.
Since the peacemakers are “blessed” by God for their peacemaking, that privilege, honor and calling, should only in drastic cases ever be neglected. An accusation that the offender is an abuser does not immediately prevent the offended from the blessing of peacemaking. But it may allow them to skip the one-on-one step and move directly to the two-on-one confrontation. What must be avoided at all costs is the elimination of any personal confrontation and moving directly to “telling the church,” by circulating the news of the offense without giving the offender an opportunity to move toward truth and, if necessary, confession.
You may ask, “But why is this the process called for in Scripture?”
1. Because it is most likely to result in a clear and trustworthy resolution.
2. Because it is most likely to result in reconciliation between the offender and offended.
3. Because it is most likely to train our hearts in humility about ourselves and toward others.
“For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.” (Galatians 5:14–15).
My prayer is for Jesus to do with New City what will most bring Him glory. My fear for my brothers and sisters in this congregation, is that the choice to not abide by Matthew 18 in future situations may result in the church’s inability to deal with offenses, even great offenses, directly, personally. I am not saying this is going to happen, but it is possible that not dealing with future offenses in the ways Jesus teaches us, could lead this church to despise one another, to descend into self-righteous anger and factions whenever there are disagreements in the body. That would break my heart for you all and would be a heartbreaking outcome for a church so many have labored and sacrificed to build.
I’ll close by telling this story. When I went to GA a couple of years ago I saw that a gay pastor, who had chosen to give up his lifestyle to follow Christ, was being treated in ways that made me so sad. I told myself that if pastors would just be willing to confess their sins openly (actual sins, and not that they are just sinners), and humble themselves before the congregation (such that their congregants could see past them through to Jesus) then we wouldn’t be in this mess as a denomination. I talked to anybody who would listen to me about this matter–Dan Allendar, pastors, writes for By Faith magazine. In fact, if you are in my small group, you will remember I made us all go around and confess a sin during prayer time, because I believed the act of confessing sin in some way lifts the sin’s power over us such that God can refine us. It’s like saying–okay, I give up playing the game of looking like a good person– here’s my sin for all to see. For me, confessing my actual sins in front of others was me becoming less so He can become more. I blamed the pastors for the fact that this wasn’t happening in our churches.
Then, this situation happened, and I realized that the problems we are having as a denomination are not just the pastors. Now, let me state that I believe firmly in the 1 Timothy passage on pastors. There are sins that disqualify men from being pastors. However, in my heart, I knew that I was part of the problem after getting upset when I read in Tim Kellar’s book that he got mad at his wife for asking him to change a dirty diaper. Then, I had to remind myself that Tim Kellar wasn’t Jesus, and that in my heart I wanted Tim to be Jesus. I wanted to put Tim on a pedestal — I needed him to be more. One Jesus just wasn’t enough for me, and that is my sin. It is not that Tim sinned, but more of what Tim did after sinning– repentantance in their words and actions–that matters most. Let’s encourage others–all Christians (pastors and not) — to freely confess our sins so God can do a work in our hearts. And then when they do show repentance and change, let’s rejoice with them! Far too much lately, I have seen shame instituted, instead of a desire to see and rejoice in what the Lord is doing in each other’s life.
My fear is that the inability to deal with offenses, even great offenses, directly, personally, clearly, could lead this church to despise one another, to descend into self-righteous anger and factions whenever there are disagreements in the body. Without a commitment to deal with each other peacefully and directly, I think that any church would struggle towards a healthy kingdom ministry. That would be a heartbreaking outcome for this church so many have labored and sacrificed to build.
I have failed at this so many times in my life, and at times have felt despair over my sin. Please know that at any time in your life that you feel in despair or alone… know I am here for you. I’ll tell you about the God of second, third, seventy-seven, never ending second chances. I’ll tell you about a God who in the bible takes the most unlikely and the most broken and uses them in mighty ways to show the world that it is His power, and nothing of ourselves. I will tell you about my Jesus who hurts with the hurting, binds up our wounds, and gives joy and peace that can only be explained by the same power that raised Him from the dead. Although I need a little time to heal, and may be farther away, please know that you are welcome in my life.
My hope for you, and for me, is that we would grow in our understanding of the Gospel through the centrality of true forgiveness and true repentance, that it would have a central role in shaping our Christ-likeness, as Paul describes it here from Colossians 3:
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”
(Colossians 3:12–15).
In His all consuming love and forgiveness for all of us sinners,
Laura
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
I do not write this out of spite, but I write this out of clarity. It has taken me a year to put my actual thoughts to paper on this whole thing and how disturbing it was. I believe there can be redemption for James, but only if he actively works on the sin and makes right what he caused. These issues could have been avoided with humility and hard work, but instead he chose to blame and push back. I’m available for questions if need be.
